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Sound Horizon – Ienakatta Kotonoha

May 18, 2015

Ienakatta Kotonoha – 言えなかった言の葉 – Words I Couldn’t Say[1]

(ワタシは「《第三の書庫》」から其の地平線に《意識と呼ばれるモノ》を接続した…
【彼女】には幼子が居た。あらゆる地平に於いて多くの親がそうで在るようだが、其れらに輪を翔けて溺愛と呼ばれる状態に在った。しかし、其の子供は然る事情に依り死んでしまう。その堪え難い《喪失》から目を逸らした女は、骨と化した我が子を抱いたまま陽光の中を彷徨う……。
此の悲劇の結末を左←→右すると予想される《因子》。ワタシは【彼女】のad921d60486366258809553a3db49a4aを【否定】してみた…
さて。箱の中の猫は、生きているのか? 死んでいるのか? 其れでは、檻の中を覗いてみよう---)

[///]

(Since the {third archive}, {what is known as my consciousness} has been linked to that horizon…

[She] had a small child. There are many such parents in every horizon, but she soared above the rest in the condition called doting. However, certain circumstances led to the child’s death. Averting her eyes from this unbearable loss, she embraced the skeleton of her child as she wandered in the sunlight…

The conclusion of this tragedy is a factor that can be moved to the right or left. I tried denying her ad921d60486366258809553a3db49a4a…

Now, then. Is the cat in the box alive? Or dead? Let’s try peeking into the cage–)

(What will the words possibly tell the partners who have different subjectivity?
The unknown lady who was among the “Lost”.
She is the “Nein”.)

通い始めた《坂道》 まだ肌寒い《潮風》
揺らした《後髪》が あなたの《頭》を撫でる
掛替えのない 温もり背中に 感じながら……

kayoihajimeta {sakamichi} [michi] mada hadazamui {shiokaze} [kaze]
yurashita {kami} [ushirogami] ga anata no {atama} [odeko] o naderu
kakegae no nai nukumori senaka ni kanjinagara…

I’ve begun to climb the hill road, the salt breeze still cold on my skin
It blows my hair so that it strokes your forehead
As I feel that irreplaceable warmth on my back…

遠ざかる笑顔に手を振りながら 誰もが今日を生きる
もう泣かないわ また春が来る……

toozakaru egao ni te o furinagara daremo ga kyou o ikiru
mou nakanai wa mata haru ga kuru…

Everyone lives today while waving goodbye to smiles fading into the distance
I won’t cry anymore; spring will come again…

通い慣れた《坂道》 微笑むような《木漏れ日》
地栗鼠と《戯れる》 あなたの《頭》を撫でる
掛替えのない 温もり手の平に 感じながら……

kayoinareta {sakamichi} [michi] hohoemu you na {komorebi} [hizashi]
jirisu to {jareru} [asobu] anata no {atama} [otsumu] o naderu
kakegae no nai nukumori tenohira ni kanjinagara…

I’ve frequently travelled this hill road; the sunbeams seem to be smiling
Playing with the squirrels, they stroke your face
As I feel that irreplaceable warmth in my hand…

失った隙間を埋め合いながら 誰もが明日を生きる
それでも変わらない 愛を求め……

ushinatta sukima o umeainagara daremo ga asu o ikiru
soredemo kawaranai ai o motome…

Everyone lives tomorrow while filling in the gaps of their loss
Even so, I long for an unchanging love…

病に倒れた母が逝く… その様を… 父と二人見送った… 長い永い夜…
荒れた冬の海に父も逝き… 亡骸を… 一人見送った……

yamai ni taoreta haha ga yuku… sono sama o… chichi to futari miokutta… nagai nagai yoru…
areta fuyu no umi ni chichi mo yuki… nakigara o… hitori miokutta…

My mother fell to illness, and my father and I kept vigil over her through a long, long night
Then my father, too, was lost to a raging winter sea, and I kept vigil over his corpse alone…

(「けほっけほっ…けほっ…幸せ…」
「大丈夫かい?心配するな、お父さんがいる!」
「くそっ!こんなところで!帰るんだ!娘の所n…」
「大丈夫かい?しっかり。ワシらがついとるから」 )

(“Kehokkeho… kkeho… shiawase…”
“Daijoubu kai? Shinpai suruna, otou-san ga iru!”
“Kuso! Konna tokoro de! Kaeru n’da! Musume no tokoro ni…”
“Daijoubu kai? Shikkari. WASHIra ga tsuitoru kara.”)

(“Cough cough… cough… happiness…”
“Are you all right? Don’t worry, your father’s here!”
“Shit! In a place like this! I’m going home! To where my daughter is…”
“Are you all right? Pull yourself together. We’ll take you with us.”)

空虚な季節の中… 私は閉じていた…
歪な蒼い貝殻のように……

kuukyo na kisetsu no naka… watashi wa tojite ita…
ibitsu na aoi kaigara no you ni…

Within the empty seasons… I shut myself away…
Like a warped, pale seashell…

哀しみ 哀しみ 哀しみ 哀しみ 哀しみ 哀しみ 哀しみ 哀しみ 哀しみ 哀しみ 哀しみ 哀しみ 哀しみ 哀しみ 哀しみ 哀しみ 哀しみ 哀しみを…
(哀しみは繰り返す 波の音色に似た調べで )

kanashimi kanashimi kanashimi kanashimi kanashimi kanashimi kanashimi kanashimi kanashimi kanashimi kanashimi kanashimi kanashimi kanashimi kanashimi kanashimi kanashimi kanashimi o…
(kanashimi wa kurikaesu nami no neiro ni nita shirabe)

Sadness sadness sadness sadness sadness sadness sadness sadness sadness sadness sadness sadness sadness sadness sadness sadness sadness sadness…
(Sadness repeats in a melody like the pounding of the waves)

優しい人達 流す涙
孤独の色に 寄り添えぬまま

yasashii hito-tachi nagasu namida
kodoku no iro ni yorisoenu mama

With the kind people and the tears shed
I didn’t draw close to the color of loneliness

(「大丈夫かい?」
「しっかりな、ワシらがついとるから!」
「ああ、そうだそうだ!」
「大変だったね!困ったことがあったら、いつでも言って!」
「ああ、ゆっくり元気になればいいのよ」 )

(“Daijoubu kai?”
“Shikkari na, WASHIra ga tsuitoru kara!”
“Aa, sou da sou da!”
“Taihen datta ne! Komatta koto ga attara, itsudemo itte!”
“Aa, yukkuri genki ni nareba ii no yo”)

(“Are you all right?”
“Pull yourself together, we’re taking you with us!”
“Yeah, that’s right, that’s right!”
“That was a close one, huh? If you have any worries, tell us anytime!”
“Yeah, we want you to take it easy and recover!”)

乾く隙間を彼が舐めた 獣にも似たギラつく眼で
優しい声色 赤い夕陽
滲んでいたけど 全てを許した

kawaku sukima o kare ga nameta kemono ni mo nita GIRAtsuku hitomi de
yasashii kaoiro akai yuuhi
nijinde ita kedo subete o yurushita

He lapped at the dry places with eyes glittering like an animal’s
The red setting sun blurred his kind face
But I forgave everything

(「やぁ、君も一人なのかい?
今日の波の音色は哀しみにとても似ている。
哀しいかい?
君の瞳に映る夕陽は本物より美しいよ…」 )

(“Yaa, kimi mo hitori na no kai?
Kyou no nami no neiro wa kanashimi ni totemo nite iru.
Kanashii kai?
Kimi no hitomi ni utsuru yuuhi wa honmono yori utsukushii yo…”)

(“Hey, are you alone too?
The sound of the waves today sounds just like ‘sadness.’
Are you sad?
The setting sun reflected in your eyes is more beautiful than the real thing…”)

嗚呼… 燃え上がる花は咲き乱れ
夜の果てに散った…

aa… moeagaru hana wa sakimidare
yoru no hate ni chitta…

Ah… the flower burst into riotous bloom
And withered at the end of the night…

二人の---
朝日を裏切り彼が行く… その事を… 誰が… 誰が見送った? 暑い熱い夜…
さよならも言えず残された… 季節の中… 一人… 唯… 一人……

futari no–
asahi o uragiri kare ga yuku… sono koto o… dare ga… dare ga miokutta? atsui atsui yoru…
sayonara mo iezu nokosareta… kisetsu no naka… hitori… tada… hitori…

Betraying
Our morning, he left… who… who kept vigil, that hot, hot night?
Without even saying goodbye, he left me… alone, simply alone, within the seasons…

今にして思えば あなたは既に《私の胎内》にいた?
独りじゃない 私の家族 もう二度と喪いたくないっ!

ima ni shite omoeba anata wa sude ni {watashi no tainai} [koko] ni ita?
hitori ja nai watashi no kazoku mou nidoto ushinaitakunai!

Now that I think about it, you must already have been inside of me
So I wasn’t alone; I don’t want to lose my family again!

(「もう一度信じてみよう!」 )

(“Mou ichido shinjite miyou!”)

(“I’ll try believing once more!”)

あなたが居たから 私は《人生》に
《希望》を見つけて 生きてこれた My Dear
この《灯火》失ったら きっと私
ダメになっちゃう 堪えられない……

anata ga ita kara watashi wa {jinsei} [kurayami] ni
{kibou} [hoshi] o mitsukete ikite koreta My Dear
kono {tomoshibi} [hikari] ushinattara kitto watashi
DAME ni nacchau taerarenai…

Since you were there, my dear, I found a star of hope
Within the darkness of my life, and kept on living
If I were to lose that light, surely
I wouldn’t be able to bear it…

(「もしもし、先生ですか!?子どもが急病なんですよ!ええ!お願いしますよ!大きな嵐が…先生!」
「???」
「別の先生に当たってみよう」
「そうだ!」 )

(“Moshimoshi, sensei desu ka!? Kodomo ga kyuubyou na n’desu yo! Ee! Onegai shimasu yo! Ooki na arashi ga… sensei!”
“???”
“Betsu no sensei ni atatte miyou”
“Sou da!”)

(“Hello, doctor? A child has suddenly fallen ill! Yes! Please! A big storm is… Doctor!”
“???”
“I’ll try to reach another doctor!”
“That’s right!”)

(「ええい!」
「しっかりな!」
「頼むぞー!」
「先生!」
「見せなさい!」
「大変なんですよ、9度も上がって….」
「どうぞ、よろしくたのんまっせ!」 )

(“Eei!”
“Shikkari na!”
“Tanomu zo!”
“Sensei!”
“Misenasai!”
“Taihen na n’desu yo, kudo mo agatte…”
“Douzo, yoroshiku tanonmasse!”)

(“Ey!”
“Get it together!”
“We’re counting on you!”
“Doctor!”
“Please show me!”
“This is bad, it’s gone up nine degrees…”
“Please, we’re counting on you!”)

あなたが高熱を出した嵐の夜 本土に電話を掛けてくれたのは
あなたを産むことを頑なまでに 反対してた人達でした
そ し て
嵐の夜なのに小さな漁船うを出して 危険も顧みず助けてくれたこと
その想いに応えてくれたお医者様は
《年齢の割に早くも総白髪だけれど立派なおヒゲがチャーミングな先生》だけでした---

anata ga kounetsu o dashita arashi no yoru hondo ni denwa o kakete kureta no wa
anata o umu koto o kataku na made ni hantai shite’ta hito-tachi deshita
so shi te
arashi no yoru na no ni chiisa na gyosen o dashite kiken mo kaerimizu tasukete kureta koto
sono omoi ni kotaete kureta o-isha-sama wa
{nenrei no wari ni hayaku mo sou shirokami da keredo rippa na o-HIGE ga CHAAMINGU na sensei} [shirohige-sensei] dake deshita–

The ones who telephoned the mainland on that stormy night when you fell ill
Were the people who had been most dead-set against me having you
And then
The doctor who answered those feelings
Setting out in a little fishing boat to save you with no concern for the danger he was in
Was a prematurely white-haired man with a splendid, charming white moustache

柳の樹皮に解熱作用があるって 識っていたかい?
ほらっ!(笑)
Yuck!
だが、これなら苦くない《最新の医薬品ッ》!
《あの時の魔法のお薬》?
Yes!

yanagi no juhi ni genetsu sayou ga aru tte shitte ita kai?
hora! (w)
Yuck!
daga, kore nara nigakunai {saishin no iyakuhin} [aspirin]!
{ano toki no mahou no o-kusuri} Aspirin?
Yes!

Did you know that willow bark could be used as a fever reducer?
Look! (laughs)
Yuck!
But this latest medical development, aspirin, is much less bitter!
That magical medicine, aspirin?
Yes!

(Now on sale!)

それからの私は 先生の《突貫診療所》へ
通う内に 身の回りの お世話を始めた……

sore kara no watashi wa sensei no {tokken shinryousho} [moto] e
kayou uchi ni mi no mawari no o-sewa o hajimeta…

And then, as I went rushing to and from the doctor’s emergency clinic,
I began to care for those around me…

ゆらゆら揺らめく
《経営的判断に基づく取捨選択》と
《社会的地位に絡む棚》と
《私的人生領域に及ぶ犠牲度合い》
目の前の《理想だけでは救えない事が多い生命》の天秤

yurayura yurameku
{keieiteki handan ni motodzuku shushasentaku} [BIJINESU] to
{shakaiteki chii ni karamu tana} [SUTAITASU] to
{shiteki jinsei ryouiki ni oyobu gisei doai} [PURAIBEITO]
me no mae no {risou dake de wa sukuenai koto ga ooi seimei} [inochi] no tenbin

The scales of life, in which there are many things that cannot be saved with only ideals
Rock, rock, rock before my eyes
Balancing business (choices based on management principles) and
Status (levels entangled in societal standing) and
Private life (the degree to which one sacrifices one’s personal life)

「何の為に この道を選んだ?」
嵐の夜に そう問われた気がした……

“nan no tame ni kono michi o eranda?”
arashi no yoru ni sou towareta ki ga shita…

“For what did you choose this path?”
I felt as though someone asked me that on that stormy night…

「もう一度信じてみよう!」

“mou ichido shinjite miyou!”

“I’ll try believing once more!”

嗚呼… 海を見つめる《瞳》が時折… 不意に遠くなる…
この人も…胸の奥に…
哀しみを…抱いているんだ……

aa… umi o mitsumeru {hitomi} [me] ga tokiori… fui ni tooku naru…
kono hito mo… mune no oku ni…
kanashimi o… daite iru n’da…

Ah… his eyes as he watched the sea… sometimes had a sudden faraway look…
He too… embraces sadness…
Inside of his heart…

それは… 私には分かち合えない… 重い荷物なのでしょうか?
「好き」
その一言が言い出せず閉じた… 唇は貝のように……

sore wa… watashi ni wa wakachiaenai… omoi nimotsu na no deshou ka?
“suki”
sono hitokoto ga iidasezu tojita… kuchibiru wa kai no you ni…

Couldn’t he share that heavy baggage with me?
“I love you”
My lips closed on those three little words like a shellfish and I couldn’t say them…

私の愛した人達はみな 私の前からいなくなった
それでも私は この【第九の現実】と
向き合うことから 逃げ出さないわ
だから もう少しだけ 神様
《本当の勇気を得るまでの猶予》をください……

watashi no aishita hito-tachi wa mina watashi no mae kara inaku natta
soredemo watashi wa kono (daiku no genjitsu) [sekai] to
mukiau koto kara nigedasanai wa
dakara mou sukoshi dake kami-sama
{hontou no yuuki o eru made no yuuyo} [jikan] o kudasai…

All the people that I loved have gone from my sight
But even so, I will face this world, the Ninth Reality
And not run away
So, please, God, give me
A little more time until I’ve achieved true courage…

(Dear John,

I hope this letter finds you safe and well.

I guess you’ll be very surprised to get this letter. I heard that now you live on the next island.

How do you live there? I know very well that you have a strong sense of justice and you’re gentle, so I surely believe everybody who lives on the island must be relying on you.

It’s been a long, long time since the last time I saw you. I don’t like to say it but I really got old while you became a fine doctor.

I write you because I have something to tell you. To be honest with you, I’d like to tell you some words that I have put in my heart and I haven’t been able to tell you for a long time…)

(「先生ー!お手紙が来てまーす!
むむ?差出人は女性?
先生!これは一体どういうご関係のっ…いったぁ!」
「おいおい、気をつけなさい…ああーっ!」)

(“Sensei! O-tegami ga kitemaasu!
Mumu? Sashidashinin wa josei?
Sensei! Kore wa ittai dou iu ga kankei no… ittaa!”
“Oi oi, ki o tsukenasai… aa-!”)

(“Doctor! A letter came for you!
Hmm? The sender is a woman?
Doctor! What on earth is this– ow!”
“Hey, hey, be careful… Ahh!”)

(The history of medical care is, in another word, the history of war.
Ironically, it will accelerate.
And the ominous steps of world war come so near.)

Notes:

[1] Based on the song Yurikago from the album Lost.

(Original lyrics by Revo.)

From → Nein

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